Ten years ago today, I woke up hung over. I had been on a nearly forty day binge of drinking to numb my pain, confusion, shame, and heartbreak. As I sat up out of bed, I audibly heard the voice of God say, “Knock it off.” The fear of the Lord overtook me as I … Continue reading Ten Years to Hope
I've waited to post because I needed a moment to process the sanctity of yesterday. Six months ago our perfect rainbow baby was born and we thought we were closing the chapter of hardship we'd been in for 21 months. Ten days later, Esther's pediatrician found a heart murmur and sent us to see a … Continue reading Esther’s Heart
When we found out two years ago today that our fourth child, Timothy, had passed away, daffodils were in bloom everywhere. It was as if God was speaking to me about life in the midst of death. I cannot look at daffodils now without thinking of my three children in Heaven. Daffodils bloomed early this … Continue reading Don’t Deny Me
Whether you're concerned about the heart content or Biblical and Theological content, I encourage you to see the movie. Don't let fear win. 1 John 4:18
I grew up in a small redneck town in the Rocky Mountains. We had a large piece of land and lots of animals including horses, sheep and chickens. I have three brothers and was raised to hunt, fish, camp, and do all the same things the boys could do. I shot my first elk when … Continue reading Grit
Tonight, while putting my older children to sleep, my eight year old began to sob. She has struggled with fear here and there the past month, but especially since we buried my husband’s sister last week. “I am afraid mommy. I feel like bad guys are going to come into my room and get me … Continue reading Isaiah 41.10
Now that Esther is a month old, I have people asking me if our older kids are still doing well with her, or if they still like the baby. I understand the question, but it makes my heart sad. Not only are Elle and Johnny still head-over-heels in love with their baby sister, but their … Continue reading Yes, My Kids Still Like the Baby
After examining Esther, our pediatrician smiled reassuringly and told us she needed to talk to us. She told us not to panic...
I have been so excited to share Esther's birth story for the past two weeks. I finally have some time to sit down and type it all out. Let me start by giving some background info. In 2008, when I was pregnant with Elle at just 22 years old, I planned for a more natural … Continue reading My Supernatural Cesarean Birth
Tomorrow I will turn 31 years old. I couldn’t be more excited! In my last entry, I mentioned that I had huge hopes, declarations, and excitement for my 30th birthday. The past year has certainly had its victories and beautiful moments. But if I could really sum it up, I would describe the past 365 … Continue reading Running Toward Fear
shailey ratliff 